Broken
by emzypemzy
Summary: Garcia's POV. Kinda drabble-ish. A broken picture and Garcia's thoughts wander before the reason behind the breaking comes knocking. Will the pieces fit back together?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds**

**I tweaked the scene a little bit to fit with my muse **** I think this is officially a drabble.**

Tamara Barnes. I don't know how one single woman could shatter my world into a million glittering pieces like the glass of the photo frame that is spread across my floor. It's the picture JJ took of us last summer when neither of us was paying attention to the camera, both too engrossed in the conversation – most probably the shameless flirting – that we were having. I loved that photo. Yes, Derek, I said "loved" as in past tense. Now it just hurts.

Sure, Hot Stuff, you didn't ask for my advice – of course not because you _knew_ what I would say – but I gave it to you anyway. I wouldn't be your straight talking, hard headed best friend if I didn't. I tell you it like it is but I give you sunshine and rainbows along with it, usually. But not this time; this time it could not be sugar coated or disguised, you needed to hear it like it was.

The light dances on the glittering glass splinters and it takes me back – sure you'll laugh and say that it wasn't the way the light reflected off the glass, but that it was my subconscious or some other profiler mumbo-jumbo but I know it was that sparkling reflection. That exact same shine was in your eyes when I stopped you that day in the office.

I have never been that nervous in my whole entire life, handsome, my stomach churning, struggling to keep my hands from shaking as you turned those chocolate brown orbs to look at me. You looked at me with that look you always seem to save just for me, that makes me feel as if I am the only person in the room with you, that I am the most important person in the whole entire world and the shine in your eyes was as hypnotising as the light dancing on the flecks of glass.

But that wasn't a fight, we didn't fight us two. That was until recently. It all started with Tamara, she was the catalyst, even after she was out of the picture and you had come to me with your tail between your legs because your "all knowing goddess" had been correct. I had replied simply; I wasn't all knowing I just knew exactly what it was like to be in her position. Only I had been 18 and lost both parents. And someone had come along trying to pick up the pieces of me, but the difference was they stayed long enough to build me back up and just as I was on the cusp of emerging as me once again he was gone, it was too much for him to handle. He wasn't "All In". It was as if I back-peddled straight back to the second I heard the words leave the doctor's lips, and I would not wish that on anybody, not even the woman who had the potential to take my best friend, you my chocolate god, away from me.

My life began to crack, like little rivers in the glass in the frame when she walked into our lives, when you ignored my advice and pursued some form of relationship with her and then the cracks began to widen. It was then that you finally began to realise that you wanted a relationship that was going to last. You would think that would fill me with nothing but happiness for my best friend, wouldn't you Hot Stuff? But it didn't, instead I was filled with sadness and sorrow, a good dose of envy for whoever the lucky girl would be and some good old selfishness. I wanted you to myself, you are my best friend, and you can't begrudge me not wanting to share you, can you? However you really could. In this time and place in our lives I am taken and you are looking. It doesn't take a computer genius to do the math. It doesn't add up. But what if "me plus you" could equal magic? That's always been a stray thought of mine, always. And now I finally could act on it because you are in _that_ place that would mean it wouldn't be "just sex". All that was stopping me was Kevin, sweet loveable Kevin. And yet, I didn't love him, not wholeheartedly "I-want-to-ravish-you-every-second-of-every-day-and-wake-up-to-your-kisses-for-the-rest-of-time" kind of love. So it should have been simple, easy, easy-peasy lemon squeezy even. It wasn't.

I crushed the poor man, he looked at me like he was a puppy I had just kicked, begged – no, _pleaded_ that I take him back, that we try again because we were "good together". I didn't want "good", I wanted "great".

Too bad the "great" ship had already sailed, eh angel face?

That's why this picture is laying here in shards. She is the reason, _you_ are the reason.

I knocked on your door, same time as always on a Wednesday and with no answer I used the spare key you had given me. I wish I hadn't. I walked in on you two feasting on each others' lips and my heart thundered to a stop. That was not what I wanted to see. You dancing with spritely, perky, young twenty-somethings in bars was different than this, this was too much. This was at _your_ place when _we_ were supposed to have movie night and _I _was going to put all my cards on the table.

I bet I looked like a goddamn goldfish then, mouth opening and closing rapidly as my eyes bugged out of their sockets. But I couldn't shield my reaction and my words of greeting died on my lips as I saw the image in front of me, and then you heard me. You broke apart from the lovely waif that was in your arms and looked at me, the same goldfish like expression on your face as you looked from me and my expression to the girl in your arms who was asking all the questions.

"_Morgan who is that? Why is she here?...Morgan? Are you even listening to me? What's going on?"_

What's going on? That was the question I wanted to ask. You hadn't had a girlfriend in a few months, hadn't brought someone back to your place in longer, or at least as far we spoke about it you hadn't.

"_Morgan? What the hell?! MORGAN?!"_

I couldn't move. I was rooted to the spot as your eyes bore holes into mine. But at her last shout of your name I was jolted from my state of total shock and I spun away from the scene, tears prickling at my eyes as I ran for my car. I definitely hadn't been expecting that Handsome, you breaking my heart.

I raced home, not really paying attention to the cars, my thoughts racing and my heart pounding and all I wanted to do was to hurt you, to make you feel the pain I felt. I was in my apartment before I knew what was happening. I spotted the picture out the corner of my eye and then...

CRASH.

The glass was everywhere and here I am, a crumpled mess in the floor of my own home watching the light reflecting off of the glittering splinters through a film of tears as I cannot help but think back to when all of 'our' problems started. My mind playing it all in a constant loop: Tamara Barnes. Kevin Lynch. Stupid skinny waif with her tongue down your throat. Shock. Hurt. Anger. Driving. Running. Crying. Breaking.

Silence.

And then there is another sound, a familiar sound. A familiar_knock_.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the wait...having muse issues...it seems that although the plot emu was there it just wasn't for dancing...;)**

**Edited this to fix it so that it should all now be in "first person"...hopefully...**

It wasn't just a familiar knock; it was the knock that permeated into her heart and her head every time she heard it because she knew exactly who it was. She jerked upright, her body stiffening.

What was Morgan doing here? Hadn't he done enough damage for one night?

I may have been internally ranting to him so to speak but this, this I didn't want. I am not good with conflict - especially with him. My heart is too fragile where he is concerned.

I waited, holding my breath as if it would mean he wouldn't know that I was there. But I knew he would, my lights were on, Ester was in my spot and I had just ran from his apartment, the only other true sanctuary I had in this city apart from my office. And now it seemed that his was no longer a safe place. The last strings of my heart were severed there after all.

The knocking stopped for a second and I let out a long breath, maybe he would give up, maybe I was wrong in thinking he would know I was here.

I wasn't wrong.

"Garcia!" He called through the wood and I stood up, padding my way carefully around the shattered glass to the hallway. "Penelope." He tried again.

I stood a mere metre from the door, the barrier of wood a torturous blessing after what I witnessed earlier.

"Pen." He said this time more softly. "Please open up." I didn't answer, but I did take a step forward, my hand hovering over the lock. However the mental image of him and the girl from earlier stopped me from turning it. I would have to explain my reaction and that I didn't want to have to do. Not when he very obviously did not return my feelings.

"Baby Girl..." He said so softly that I would not have heard him through the wood had I not been so close. My heart clenched at those two words. They had been lacking of late - despite my best efforts they had not fallen from his lips as freely as they once had.

"I'm so sorry." He said just as softly, and the soft thump she heard told her that he was leaning against the door.

My phone jittered across the table on the hall and I curse myself as I yelped in surprise at the sounds. He knew I was there now.

"Pen...Come on Pen, open the door." He said again, louder than before. "We need to talk. What happened back there? Why'd you run away? Pen, what's going on with us? Please just open the door." He pleaded and I knew he wasn't going to leave now, but I could try to get him to – I had to try, I didn't think I could deal with this right now.

"Go away Morgan." I said, my voice rough and thick with emotion that I knew he would be able to hear but I could not control.

There was movement on the other side of the door this time as he spoke. "No." He said forcefully. "We need to talk Pen, get this cleared up."

"What's there to clear up? Just go away Morgan, I can't do this now." I said and I knew that he wasn't going to give in, but it was worth a try.

"No." He said, his voice commanding. "I am not leaving Penelope. I'll sleep out here if I have to, but you have to come out at some point and we need to talk."

"No I don't, I have enough in here to last me at least a few days, and you'll have to leave at some point."

"Baby, please, stop being so stubborn for two minutes and let me in, you and I both know that we've begun to drift and I don't like it. I want it to stop."

"Morgan, I really can't do this now."

"There won't be a good time for this, please just let me in." He beseeched once again.

I knew I couldn't leave him out there all night; it would eat away at my conscience and I would eventually have to let him in from the cold. He was the man to whom my heart belonged – although he didn't know that yet – and I couldn't let his bits freeze off, that would destroy all of the best fantasies.

I chuckled at my own thinking as I turned away from the door, heading further into the apartment.

"You know where the spare key is." I called out over my shoulder as I reached the splintered glass. His scrambling around could be heard as he searched the usual hiding place.

I reached for the brush and shovel and began to brush up the glass. That is how he found me: kneeling on the floor, broken glass around me as I swept up the pieces. Which, ironically, was what he wanted to attempt to do now: pick up the broken pieces of "us".

"Baby Girl what happened?" He asked in obvious concern, kneeling down at my side, ready to help pick up the larger pieces.

"Nothing – it doesn't matter. I was just a bit...clumsy?" I tried as he studied the broken picture of us and my expression. I knew he didn't accept my answer, but he let it rest – for now.

"You know," He began, placing the picture back on the shelf, the pad of his finger tracing our smiling faces. "I really like this picture." I laughed softly as I continued to sweep up the glass splinters.

"What? I do." He said, his face serious even as a smiled ghosted his lips as I looked up at him from where I was crouched on the floor. "It was when we were all at that open air classical concert for the Children's Hospital, do you remember?" He didn't even give me time to answer. "You kept teasing me about that not being my kind of thing and I must only be there because you were. It was true. We had fun, we laughed, flirted like crazy and this picture reminds me of just how much fun we had, just the two of us in our own wee world even though the others were there. That didn't matter, it _never_ mattered, all that mattered was that we were there and having a good time. We've not been quite the same since then, since about five minutes after that photo when Lynch came to meet you and whisked you off to meet friends of his from college who were all there as well. You didn't come back then, and ever since I've been guarding myself, pulling up each little wall you pull down and trying to keep myself from falling harder, because I couldn't say anything when you were happy. Couldn't make you choose, because I couldn't lose you. But in doing that I did lose you. That's when all this started." He wasn't giving me a chance to get a word in edge ways, as if he had to get it all out now, at that very moment. "It wasn't your fault, that's not what I'm saying." He added as I tried to protest, the brush and shovel stopping mind sweep in my hands. "What I'm saying is it's my fault, because I never fought for you to understand my words after Battle, never stood up and told you not to go with Lynch. You had every right to happiness. But since then, since I chickened out and began putting my walls up again we've drifted and I wish we hadn't," My eyes teared up slightly.

"Me too." I said softly, standing up slowly, the brush and shovel falling at my feet.

"Why did you come to my place Baby Girl?" He asked softly, his eyes begging her for the truth. I flinched as the memory of him kissing the gorgeous woman on his sofa burned at my eyelids and I blinked back tears.

"It doesn't matter. You were obviously otherwise, uh, occupied."

"It does matter Pen." He said softly, walking towards me and my heart thundered in my chest as he reached out to wipe away a stray tear with the pad of his thumb.

"Why did you come here?" I asked, "Not to talk about a silly photo I'm sure."

A question with a question, smooth Garcia, I thought to myself.

"Ok, I'll go first then." He said with a slight smile tugging at his lips. "For starters that's not a silly photo. But I didn't come here for that photo, I came here for you. To tell you all that, were you listening? You know I don't do this well Garcia, I can't do this well, but I really care about you Pen, I really really do and I had to come to say that – that-"

"Spit it out." I said softly with a smile, the soft tone of his voice combined with the look in his eyes and his gentle touch as he wiped another tear along with the words he was using told me all I really needed to know, all I had ever wanted.

"Do you want me to say it or not woman?" He teased with a smile as he realised that they were going to be ok.

"My love, I would like nothing more than for you t-" He stopped me from saying anything further with a kiss, a soft, probing and wonderfully electric kiss before he pulled away.

"I love you, Penelope Garcia."

"I love you too." I replied with a massive smile before stepping toward him, wanting to kiss him once again.

"OW!" I shouted in pain as broken glass from the frame dug into my foot. Morgan was picking me up in an instant, taking me to the bathroom to tend to the 'wounds', he did so with a tenderness that made me smile and I could feel my knees go weak at his soft touch, thank goodness I was sitting down.

We listened to the radio as Morgan swept up the broken glass and fitted the picture into a new frame before he decided that my foot could still have glass in it and so, true to his over protective nature we left the warm and cosy apartment to go and get it checked out. The man, although filled with good intentions, could be a bit of a pain at times...but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Our first night as a "couple" was spent on uncomfortable seats in an A&E as we talked everything out, from Kevin to Tamara and everything in between.

We never were what you would call a 'conventional' pair.

**There we have it...done! :)**


End file.
